Africa, Pregnancy, and Refiner’s Fire
Okay. Let’s skip the long introductions today and cut to the chase here. I had an entirely different blog post drafted up about how I’ve longed to be a long-term missionary since I was fourteen years old, and how our family was officially about to head to South Africa to begin that journey together.
I could write a whole novel to share how we finally landed on that decision and why we chose South Africa to start, but to keep it short, being overseas is something we have both longed for since we met (we met in Mozambique, Africa while serving with Iris Global short-term). However, we didn’t have a specific vision of what this would look like, and were open to wherever the Lord wanted us, even if that meant being in the United States. We got married at the end of 2019 with the heart cry of, “Whatever you say, LORD!” and, if anyone remembers, 2020 brought a world-wide pandemic that shut down our ideas of international travel for a while. Thus, we settled into our marriage in the States and have been here since.
We invested into our careers. Searched for home, church, and community. Moved too many times trying to figure out what the Lord had for us here. And the desire for the nations never left us. We never fully felt a “settling” here but also never had a peace about going quite yet.
Fast forward to July 2024.
After a long series of events, prayer, waiting, and late-night pillow talks between husband and wife, we officially felt the release to “sell all and go” (the phrase Nolan has continually heard from the Lord throughout this process).
Of course, as the Lord has his humor, we found out we were pregnant with our second baby the week after we made this decision. With even more consideration and prayer, we still felt peace about making preparations to move overseas and have our baby over there. So make preparations we did. We sold everything from vehicles down to home decor and dinner plates, consolidating everything we own into what could be fit into a few suitcases. Our house was under contract to sell. We were almost ready to go. Anticipation raced through our veins as we dreamed of what this next season would look like. In Africa.
Yet again, the LORD has his ways. It’s almost embarrassing to admit how seemingly unexpected the events of my life have played out thus far, but there were a few defining circumstances that ultimately led us to make the difficult, last-minute decision to stay in the States until after the birth of our baby. The two biggest factors being that our house contract fell through and that our 20-week anatomy scan showed a small concern that would make birthing in the States the safer option (baby is perfect and healthy though, praise the LORD)! Once again, my plans were flipped upside down and I was forced to lay it all down in surrender and trust that God had a plan much larger than what I can see or understand.
But at 24 weeks pregnant (back in December), this was a hard pill to swallow. We didn’t even have a plan of where to stay in the case of staying in the States (we already moved out of our house and staying at my mother-in-laws temporarily). Pregnancy is not really a time you want to feel completely uprooted and disheveled and still not really have an idea of a plan headed into the third trimester. But here we were with more uncertainty and decisions to make.
Much of this began unraveling around Christmas time so naturally it was a time where I sat in the story of the birth of Jesus more than usual. God highlighted a few details I never paid much attention to about the story that has filled me with a peace I have clung to, even on the hard days of this process. Mary on a donkey headed to Bethlehem. Very, very pregnant. Birthing the Savior of the world in a stable because there was no room for her anywhere else. She was not within the comfort of her own home, did not have the baby nursery set up with tasteful decor, and was not surrounded by loved ones to help her transition into motherhood go smoothly.
The second detail that my mind has continually returned to throughout this process is from Matthew 1:13-15, “Now when they had departed (the wise men), behold, an angel of the Lord appeared to Joseph in a dream and said, “Rise, take the child and his mother, and flee to Egypt, and remain there until I tell you, for Herod is about to search for the child, to destroy him.” And he rose and took the child and his mother by night and departed to Egypt and remained there until the death of Herod. This was to fulfill what the Lord had spoken by the prophet; Out of Egypt I called my son.”
Not only was Mary carried off to Bethlehem while she was pregnant for the census (each family had to return to their region of lineage to be registered), but any plans they may have had after the birth of Jesus were completely uprooted as well when Joseph was told by the angel to flee to Egypt. Mary, with a newborn baby, had to flee by night and head to a completely unknown land away from anyone she knew.
Pregnancy is typically a time of anticipation, preparation, and nesting. Women spend the months leading up to the birth of a baby dreaming, rearranging furniture, decorating nurseries, buying supplies, and celebrating with loved ones as they are showered with gifts and favors. With both of my pregnancies, we have found ourselves in the middle of selling our house and moving to new locations. With this pregnancy, we have had the added load of preparing to move across the world and then completely having to rearrange our plans a few months before the baby is born.
I find comfort in thinking about the story of Mary - in reflecting on the fact that she was indeed a real woman with real emotions. The one chosen by God to birth his beloved Son and Savior of the world. These details reveal how God’s plans do not always equal our comfort. It can be easy to assume that when plans fall through or when things don’t go the way we think that we somehow “missed it” and that we have lost our footing with God - this is far from the truth. Each step of Mary’s pregnancy and postpartum journey sovereignly fulfilled prophetic purpose, even though in reality, it was unconventional. Things did not go according to man’s “plan.” Yet the sovereignty of God was well established, down to every detail.
All of that being said, if you have been wondering where the Stafford family is and what we’ve been up to…
We are in Phoenix, Arizona until after baby is born (now THAT is a story for another day).
Once baby makes his arrival (any day now!), we will be continuing our preparations to move to South Africa as long-term missionaries. I’ve always dreamed of raising babies on the mission field, and it is surreal that this is actually in the works. I am still wrapping my head around it all and will keep sharing here as this all unfolds more.
For now, we are very much thanking Jesus for this “detour” in Phoenix as we await the arrival of our second son. Like I said, it may seem unconventional (and TOTALLY not a part of our plan or even on our radar), but we trust the sovereignty of God in leading us here for this season and have seen his faithful hand on us through the process.
Nolan and I have been in a long season of preparation and “uprooting.” I believe it’s in seasons like this where we grow the most, and I am thankful. It’s the pruning, the stretching, the refiner’s fire. It’s uncomfortable. Similar to pregnancy and childbirth, we are stretched beyond the limits of what we think we can handle. He shows his faithful hand guiding us through the unknown. We continue trusting. Continue saying, “Yes, Lord.” Continue taking his hand and following his gentle lead.
Thank you for following along on our crazy, beautiful journey through all of the unknowns! We are beyond excited to see what the Lord has in store for us as we make this transition as a family. We will be updating our website to share all of the information on what is coming as we head to South Africa sometime this Summer!