Becoming
Who are you becoming?
“First, we must turn to Jesus and immerse ourselves in His presence. Rest in his love. From that place of rest, we act. We are and then we do. Then, we can act without a hint of performance.
-We do because we are loved – not to be loved.
–We do because we are accepted – not to be accepted.
-Heidi Baker, Reckless Devotion
As of late, I have found the Lord asking me to do less. He brought me to a new city, and I was ready to jump head-long into life post graduation. And then, as you know, the pruning began. He asked me to surrender my nursing job. He asked me to lay down grad school. My response? Try something else. Find “more” to do to fill up the empty space. “Less,” is still his response. I try to fill up the space with more ministry, more hours at work, more social interaction. I hear again, “Less.”
Doing isn’t bad. Sometimes, God brings us through heavily busy seasons, and in those times, it’s essential to carve out intention space for rest and even for fun. Other times, he carves out that space for us. We usually don’t like this. I think, as much as we hate admitting it, we are still finding our worth in how much we are “doing.”
The other day, as I sat, again, wondering what I should be doing in this season, researching opportunities, I heard the gentle whisper of a Father.
“You’re asking the wrong question.”
The question is not, “What are you doing?”
The question is, “Who are you becoming?”
We can’t take any shortcuts on the journey of becoming. Though we are often impatient with the process, it’s the most important part. And it happens in stillness. It happens in the quiet spaces, carved out for us by God, where we come face to face with the person in the mirror. It is the work that goes without the praise of others and without the affirmation of a paycheck. It’s the place where not a whole lot happens externally, and that is okay. It’s an inside job.
Ultimately, the person I’m becoming is the person who will be able to sustain what I will someday do. If I seek the “doing” without knowing who I am, I will be starved for love and I will find my source of identity in the things I can accomplish. He invites us into a better way where we will actually bear more fruit and become more effective. We will find ourselves not having to work as hard because what we are doing is a natural flow from who we already are.
So I encourage you to ask yourself, as I have (and still am), a few questions:
-Who do I want to become?
-Who does God say I am?
-Who does God want to be for me in this season?
It’s exciting because I know that God says I am already worthy, loved, chosen, and accepted. I am made pure. Everything else stems from this core identity as a beloved daughter and co-heir with Christ. Because of this core identity, I know He can only make me into something great, something the world needs. And hopefully something that looks a whole lot like Jesus.
That’s a journey I know I want to take.