Kind

Don’t lose sight of God’s kindness.

On my trail run today, I twisted my ankle. It happened when I was only 0.86 of a mile into it. I was moving at a fast pace, felt great, and anticipated a successful, long, swift run. I rolled my ankle on a root and almost stumbled to the ground. My initial reaction was anger toward God. I hate admitting it, but it’s true. I blurted, out loud, “God, so you want me to stop?” I said it in a sarcastic tone, as if God was playing a cruel joke on me and I was fed up.

I turned off my running app and silenced my music. In that moment, I became acutely aware of my surroundings – a trail I had never been on, the sound of a creek, fresh green growth blooming all around, warmth, a blue sky, sunlight breaking through.

I often find my running journey symbolic of my life. I think that’s why I was mad, more than anything. God had been asking me to stop. I found him cruel for it. I saw it as him trying to hinder me from the things that caused me joy, the adventure of pursuing dreams, leaving me in pain and a swollen ankle instead.

I had lost sight of the kindness of God.

I had been trying to run too far, too fast, and it is true he wanted me to slow down- to rest, to be with him, to enjoy this moment he created just for me.

I had been poorly mistaken about his tactics and motives. As much as I believe God is in control, I also believe that he is good. But was I believing it in this moment? In this season of life? I think I only saw the control. Control without kindness is a tyrant king. God didn’t throw a branch in my path and he was not plotting to hurt me or keep me from the thing I love. However, he used the circumstance as an opportunity to draw me near to him. He really does cause all things to work together for our good (Romans 8:28). He’s so good at it that we often blame him for the bad thing in which he is only turning around for our benefit!

Side note: It was the root that tripped me, and he wants to deal with those as well.

Don’t lose sight of God’s kindness.

What happens when you lose sight of his kindness? Well, you choose to become a victim. You think that God is out to harm you. You become bitter and angry. You begin to see every setback as God working against you, rather than for you. The truth is, what I needed more than a long run today was to sit by the creek with God and just soak up his kindness through nature. I needed to be reminded that he is for me, and that I can rest in Him. Sometimes, when I’m ready to run all the miles, he just wants to walk with me. To sit with me.

I think God cares more about our heart on the journey than the miles we run. He’s more concerned with our knowing him than he is with us accomplishing some mission. He wants lovers, not robots on assignment.

Don’t lose sight of his kindness.

In his kindness, he romances us. He allures us with his acts of love, his poetry of sound and color, kissing us with the breath of promise. We are no victim, only objects of his affection. Destined for something beautiful, simply by the fact that we are his. Every good thing does he have for us. No good thing does he withhold.

Don’t lose sight of his kindness.

If you only see God as controlling (note: very different than a loving God who is also in control), you will always either be a in slavery (working hard to earn his approval) or in rebellion (pushing God aside and attempting to do it on your own). Instead, he invites us into sonship (where we are already accepted, submitted to his will, knowing that him in control is a good thing because of his great love for us).

The invitation stands, but it only asks we let go of our faulty perspective.

Beloved, sometimes we need to stop running, turn off the noise, and listen to the sound of his voice. Accept the invitation of sonship, friendship, and an obedience that springs from a deep place of trusting his heart.

He is kind.