Suddenlies

Well, here is the long awaited story of us. I apologize for the delay in forming it to letters on a page for you to read. With greatest delight I type it & with deepest care I give words to it’s frame. It is the story I’ve been dreaming about since I was a little girl – how our very separate lives would someday entwine & we would become exquisitely one. So, beloved friends, cherished family, here is how I became a Stafford:

To start, we went from dating to married in 10 days.

If I haven’t caught your attention yet, I don’t know what will. Maybe I can back up a bit for you though, as this is a story that begins long before I even met Nolan.

I have been praying for my husband for as long as I can remember, and yet I’ve danced the line many times of believing & praying that God would bring him to me in his timing while simultaneously surrendering the idea of marriage altogether. (I’ll probably have a lot more blog posts to write about this in the future, because let’s be real, I could probably write a whole novel on what this process has looked like).

I did believe marriage was a specific promise God had given me through his word (both logos & rhema) as well as through specific dreams he revealed to me. Dreams are the way that God has spoken to me most frequently & clearly, and I often dreamed of blue eyes over the years. Though I couldn’t see his face, I had the deep impression that these eyes belonged to my husband. I will admit, as many of us have experienced, I questioned God’s faithfulness in pondering, “Did God really say?”

So, I may have dated a guy without blue eyes. Because, I didn’t want to write someone off just for their eye color. Thus, disappointment and heartbreak became part of the story. Surrender & surrender again. Find a deeper place of healing. Trust. Remember God’s faithfulness. Stand on God’s word. Walk in obedience. Wait.

After that difficult breakup, and a heart that took longer to heal than I would have liked, I was having a rough day and knew the answer to my problem was worship. I headed to a worship night at my church, went to the back of the room where no one could see me, and danced with every bit of strength that I had. Out of nowhere, I saw, as if with my very own eyes, those deep blue eyes I had dreamed of before. Then, the firm yet gentle voice that I have come to know so dear, spoke, “I keep my promises.”

So, I surrendered again, trusted, and waited. There is a whole separate story of how I ended up in Mozambique in 2019, but in short, I laid down my career and everything that was familiar to me and moved to Africa, planning to stay there as a long-term missionary. I had thrown away my journal of prayers for my husband just before leaving for the airport, and though I trusted that God would provide a husband for me someday, I did not expect to get off the plane and meet Nolan.

So, was it love at first sight?

It’s so fun to be together now and get to hear both sides of the story. We were both equally intrigued (is that the best word?) with one another, but we actually avoided each other the whole first month in Mozambique (which is quite difficult if you’ve ever been a part of a small team overseas… did I mention our rooms were a mere 10 feet apart)? But I had thrown away my prayer journal for my husband. I believed God was faithful, but I was prepared to wait for as long as I needed to. I wasn’t planning on stepping outside of God’s plan again, as I had done before. I didn’t want anything that would distract me from pursuing God and being a missionary.

On Nolan’s side of the story, he was in Mozambique on an 8 month deployment to be a part of the long-term relief efforts after Cyclone Idai had ripped through the nation earlier that year. He had been running hard after Jesus for years, staffing missions schools, and traveling the world. He wasn’t interested in flippant pursuits. We both desired marriage, but were more focused on doing God’s will wholeheartedly. I was staying in Mozambique as a long-term missionary, and he would soon return to the states after a long season of being overseas.

Waiting.

The meat of this story is called just that, waiting. Although Nolan and I did eventually stop avoiding each other in Mozambique, we actually liked each other for five months before either of us ever said a word to one another. We spent time together, and had the privilege of observing one another in the context of missions, but mostly, we prayed and fasted about one another separately (we didn’t know either of us were doing this). I found out my visa got denied to stay in Africa, so I hopped on a plane and ventured back to the States while he had two more months there. We talked almost every day, and I patiently waited for him to share his feelings (y’all, I could write a whole blog post on this alone – for someone who used to hate the unknown, I could easily rationalize my asking Nolan with “christianese” words and call it wisdom… really, I had a control issue and I needed to let go & trust God in the waiting).

The waiting was worth it. 

All of it. The years of singleness and devotion solely to the Lord. Understanding that Jesus is my husband first. Not settling for second best. Waiting on God’s timing. Even waiting five months for Nolan to “make the first move.” His words to me shortly after he returned to the states became the sweetest theme of the wait. “I knew the weight of engaging your heart, and I was not about to do so unless I knew for sure what that meant.” He had counted the cost in pursuing me, and he had deemed me worthy of that pursuit. He had waited as well, twenty-eight years to be exact, and didn’t take this endeavor lightly. He expressed his feelings to me and invited me to come to his hometown to spend some time with him and his family.

I hopped on another plane to another city, and yet the significance of this flight, I did not anticipate. Nolan picked me up from the airport, took me to a cozy coffee shop, and then surprised me with a hike (winning brownie points already by these decisions alone). We found this wooden fort off the trail overlooking the lake, and found ourselves climbing to the top. We sat on the top of the fort and talked for a while, and though I kept it together pretty well on the outside, my heart was racing. As the sun hit his face on that crisp Saturday afternoon, I looked into the deep blue eyes I had dreamed about for years.

Suddenlies.

I may need to actually write another blog post on this one, because I want to keep this as short as possible, but the next 10 days were a “strategic whirlwind” of falling in love, remaining steadfast in prayer, and being absolutely confident that we had both found the one we desired to spend the rest of our lives with. Actually, Nolan proposed the second day I got there (I said I couldn’t answer that yet). I had a few more questions I needed answers for first. God came in and answered swiftly, boldly, precisely. One week later and I could answer with confidence. Three days later from then, we were standing before each other, stepping into an unbreakable covenant of love.

Our favorite part of the story:

December 9, 2019. We were perfectly content with saying our vows in Nolan’s mom’s living room. His brother is ordained to marry and would perform the ceremony with only his immediate family present. We had booked a quick honeymoon to the keys, got our marriage licenses, and bought the rings when Nolan’s brother called us and said he had a venue we could use for free. The “Upper Room”- a worship and wedding venue above a small, Christian storefront. A few hours later, he called again with news that someone wanted to come play the piano and lead worship for us. At 7:30 p.m., I arrive to the venue after Nolan. As soon as I walk in the front door, I see a wedding dress on a mannequin staring right at me (that’s what it felt like, at least)! So, yes, to add some Sophie humor to the story – we may have taken it off the mannequin and used it for the ceremony before slipping it back on like we found it (shhhh, don’t tell anyone).

So, I walked up the stairs in my white gown and linked arms with Nolan’s dad. Nolan basically dropped to the floor and I’ll never forget the look on his face. We worshipped Jesus, said our vows and shared one cup in communion. Rings were placed, “I do’s” were made, and Nathan gladly presented us as Mr. and Mrs. Stafford. It wasn’t until we had slipped the white dress back on the mannequin and were heading out of the building that I found out the name for the store we were in…

It was called, “Suddenlies.”

Thank you to everyone who has showed us your love and support throughout this whole journey! That day has been etched into eternity as the day we became one, and I know it was just the beginning.

Conveniently, our first church service when we got back from our honeymoon was about suddenlies. The pastor said, “God often does things in our life in a ‘suddenly’ manner, but it will still require you to walk it out in process.” We are both expectant and hopeful for the beautiful adventure that our life will be together. We just moved to Arkansas, where we will be for a time to build a foundation for our marriage- to live, work, do ministry, and pay off those pesky student loans. The nations burn within both of our hearts, and we look forward to the day we will be overseas again as a married couple. For now, we get to be merrily newly weds (forever honeymooners, though), as we learn, grow, and build together.

Thank you for taking the time to read our story! Please keep us in your prayers as we transition to our new city and learn what marriage looks like in the day to day! As always, Jesus is worthy and life with him is beautiful.

Love always,
Sophie Stafford

*Nolan, after following Jesus, you are the greatest decision I ever made. I most joyfully say, “yes” to you again and again, all of the days of my life. Thank you for pursuing me wholeheartedly and reflecting the heart of Jesus toward his church in doing so. I know our life will be an adventure (as it has been already), and there is no one I would rather have beside me for it. 

I love you endlessly, with all of who I am. Thank you for waiting for me. Thank you for choosing me. Thank you for loving me. You are the greatest gift- and suddenly- from God yet.